all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter
women were the ones who started wars
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
“The truth about impotence”
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running
And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.
For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It, written 20 years ago by Carol Diehl.
I realized something. Santa Clause is a time lord.
His sack is bigger on the inside.
If he doesn’t time travel, how else does he travel across he world in one night?
He dresses weird and no one actually sees him.
Think about it.
Let us not forget that Nine knows Rose got a Red Bicycle when she was 12 and that Amelia was praying to santa when the Doctor crashed through into her garden shed.
that explains why santa clause only comes sometimes, his tardis is unreliable, or at least thinks he has a more important place to be.
Misa on Wheels
Cosplay: We’re all geeks wearing costumes. ALL of us.
"how will i explain gay couples to my children”
if you can explain to your children that an immortal man in a red suit who lives in the north pole travels around the entire world on one night every year on a sleigh carried by magical flying deer i think itll be easy enough to tell them two people are in love
JUST IN TIME.
JUST IN TIME FANDOM.
ALWAYS REBLOG ON TUESDAY
IT’S A LAW
Had to go back a week in my own blog but I don’t even care.
Had to wade through my blog for 15 minutes just to find this